The best approach is to keep your glass on the table. If you’re in a spot that’s hard to reach, it’s fine to hand it to your server directly. This simple tip applies whether you’re eating at an upscale restaurant or a casual neighborhood chain.

Restaurants often assign specific service areas where staff keep essential items, but these spots aren’t meant for guest access or visibility. If these areas are cluttered or in full view, it’s considered poor etiquette. Anica G., a Minnesota-based server, advises against customers walking over to these stations to “save time,” as it actually interrupts workflow and slows things down.

Rather than heading to a service station, signal your waiter and wait for them to come to you. Entering staff areas throws off their routine and may delay service rather than speeding it up.

One of Anica’s major annoyances is when she asks how the check should be split and gets vague answers like, “We’ll figure it out later.” She urges diners to make that decision early, as trying to divide the bill post-meal—especially when it’s not evenly split—can get complicated and uncomfortable for everyone involved.

To avoid confusion at the end of the meal, decide ahead of time how you’ll divide the bill and how many checks are needed. Let your server know early to make the payment process quicker and smoother.

Some guests toss used napkins, wrappers, or food scraps into their cups thinking they’re helping tidy up, but this actually creates more work. Anica explains that glasses are easier to clean when they’re just used for drinks—digging out trash adds unnecessary steps before washing. Baristas in coffee shops face similar problems with cups filled with napkins or leftover food.

To help with cleanup, gather trash into one or two spots on the table and leave your used napkins near your plate. Avoid putting garbage in your glassware, which only complicates things for the staff during dishwashing.

Servers are frequently addressed with terms like “honey,” “sweetheart,” “cutie,” or “missy,” which might seem harmless but can feel condescending or even inappropriate. Maddie C., a hostess and busser in Seattle, emphasizes that name tags exist for a reason. She adds that being asked for her full name or having customers look her up online is both uncomfortable and intrusive. Her clear message: “Don’t do that.”

Keep interactions respectful by using the name provided on the server’s tag. This simple gesture isn’t just good restaurant etiquette—it also applies in other service industries, like airlines, and sets the tone for a courteous exchange.

While there are occasional reasons for one person to speak on behalf of a group, it usually complicates things for staff. Lizzy V., who worked at a diner in Idaho, explains that when one person orders for everyone, servers can’t ask individual questions, increasing the chance of mistakes. It also makes it unclear who gets which dish when food is brought to the table.

To keep things simple, let each guest place their own order. This applies to kids too—it’s a great opportunity for them to learn manners and take part in the experience, all while easing the server’s job.

If you have specific dietary needs or preferences, share them with your server—but avoid presenting an exhaustive list of modifications. Maddie points out that some guests try to micromanage how food should be prepared, as if instructing the chef. Trust the staff to guide you—they know the menu well, even if they wouldn’t personally eat everything on it.

Stick to basic requests such as meat temperature or allergy-related concerns. Overloading your server with long-winded instructions slows down the kitchen and complicates service. Keep your preferences clear but reasonable to allow the restaurant team to handle things effectively.

Making comments about someone’s appearance, especially in a professional setting, crosses the line and can be considered harassment. Alexander D., a D.C.-based server, stresses that remarks about someone’s body are inappropriate regardless of gender. Such comments should be avoided entirely—discussing physical traits simply doesn’t belong in these environments.

Giving sincere compliments about a server’s performance is a meaningful way to recognize their efforts. Praising their service not only boosts their morale but may also support their professional growth. If you receive outstanding service, be sure to let the manager know so the employee receives proper acknowledgment.

Though stacking plates or utensils might feel like you’re helping, most restaurants prefer customers leave the clearing to staff. Servers have specific systems for clearing tables, and well-meant stacking can complicate things—especially when glasses meant for the bar get mixed in with kitchen items. Susie explains that customers often stack items in unstable piles, which are hard to carry safely. It’s best to leave everything as it is and allow staff to clean up properly.

While it’s okay to group a few smaller dishes together, such as appetizer plates, etiquette expert Sokolosky suggests avoiding full-scale bussing. Trained staff are responsible for clearing tables and can do so quickly and efficiently. When customers try to help too much, it can disrupt the flow and even cause slowdowns.

Many people still believe placing a napkin over the plate signals the end of a meal, but this is no longer considered appropriate. Sokolosky notes that a used napkin may contain food or sauce remnants that could stain a server’s hands during cleanup. Modern etiquette discourages this habit as both outdated and potentially messy.

To let your server know you’re finished eating, simply fold your napkin and place it on the table beside your plate. This method avoids mess and clearly indicates you’re done, all while following up-to-date etiquette.

Grace T., a hostess in Houston, says some customers ignore signage and seat themselves, even when there’s a host stand. Though well-meaning, this disrupts the flow of service. In hosted restaurants, seating arrangements help evenly distribute guests among the staff. Skipping the host can unbalance service sections and cause delays, so it’s best to wait to be seated as instructed.

Good dining manners include waiting to be shown to your table and checking with staff before switching seats. Respecting these rules helps maintain an organized and efficient dining atmosphere, especially in restaurants that use assigned seating.

If your designated server is occupied, it may be tempting to ask another server for help, but Sokolosky warns this can lead to confusion, especially when it’s time to tally the bill. Each server has assigned tables, and sharing tasks between them can disrupt the flow of service and cause billing issues. It’s more considerate to wait for your own server when requesting additional items.

A polite way to handle a busy server situation is to ask another staff member to let your server know you need assistance. This approach avoids disrupting workflows and ensures your original server stays informed, preventing any confusion when settling the check.

Katie P., a server in Berkeley working her way through a PhD program, has experienced customers making demeaning assumptions about her intelligence due to her job. Some have lectured her on basic facts or tried to explain her own culture to her—often inaccurately. Her story is a reminder not to judge people based on their profession and to always treat service workers with dignity and respect.

It’s important to avoid forming opinions about people based on what they do for a living. Making assumptions can lead to unfair treatment and misunderstandings. Additionally, steer clear of sensitive or personal topics during meals—respecting everyone’s background creates a more pleasant dining environment for all.

Watching a server skillfully balance a tray might tempt some guests to jump in and assist, but Alexander cautions against this. Grabbing items or touching the tray can throw off their balance and cause accidents. Whether you’re at a full-service restaurant or a fast-food counter, it’s best to let the professionals handle the load themselves.

Instead of reaching for food or drinks, you can help your server by making room on the table. Clearing personal items or shifting things around allows them to set plates down with ease, making their job smoother without interfering.

While it’s impolite to nitpick everything, staying silent when there’s a serious problem with your meal isn’t helpful either. Katie explains that some customers are hesitant to complain, worried about being labeled rude—but this can lead to someone eating something they can’t or shouldn’t. Speaking up calmly and clearly allows servers to correct issues and deliver the quality service you deserve.

If there’s an issue with your food or service, bring it up with kindness and clarity. Respectful communication ensures your concern gets addressed properly and helps foster a positive relationship between you and the restaurant staff.

If you spill a drink and a glass breaks, you may want to jump in and clean up—but doing so isn’t recommended. Broken glass can be dangerous, and staff are equipped with the proper tools to clean it safely. The best thing you can do is alert someone right away and let them take care of the mess.

When accidents happen, let the staff handle the cleanup. Trying to manage it yourself may put you at risk and complicate things. Offering a polite apology and acknowledging the mishap is enough. If you’re interested in learning more about courtesy, exploring commonly used polite phrases is a great next step.