WTF Fun Fact 13085 – Horatio Magellan Crunch

You think you know someone. All this time, we assumed that Cap’n Crunch was an uncomplicated cartoon cereal mascot. But there’s more to Horatio Magellan Crunch than meets the eye.

Finding Cap’n Crunch

In 2013, the Wall Street Journal turned the cereal world on its head by revealing that an investigation into the origins of Cap’n Crunch had revealed his real name and rank.

Food & Wine Magazine (cited below) noted that the normally serious newspaper revealed a dark secret. That year, the paper wrote that “the legendary cereal icon’s status as a captain has come under fire… Cap’n Crunch only wears the bars of a Navy commander, not those of a captain. In the U.S. Navy, captains wear four bars on their uniforms, while commanders — one rank below captain – have three bars.”

Way to blow our minds.

You can’t handle the truth about Horatio Magellan Crunch

After the controversy broke, Cap’n Crunch went on Twitter to address the allegations.

All hearsay and misunderstandings!,” @realcapncrunch wrote.”I captain the S.S. Guppy with my crew – which makes an official Cap’n in any book!”

He also insisted that “It’s the Crunch – not the clothes – that make a man.” The Navy would beg to differ.

In a tongue-in-cheek reply, Lt. Commander Chris Servello, director of the U.S. Navy’s news desk at the Pentagon revealed: “We have no Cap’n Crunch in the personnel records – and we checked. We have notified NCIS and we’re looking into whether or not he’s impersonating a naval officer – and that’s a serious offense.”

Then again, the so-called “Cap’n” wears a Napoleonic-era hat. Could he be French?!

He first debuted as a Quaker Oats Co. character in 1963, so it’s a little late to be fighting that battle. His official biography only tells us he was born on Crunch Island, in the Sea of Milk. We’re not sure which flag they fly there.

We do know that he commanded the S.S. Guppy and spent time near Mt. Crunchmore, but that raises more questions than it answers.  WTF fun facts

Source: “Cap’n Crunch’s Real Name Isn’t Cap’n Crunch and Everything You Know Is a Lie” — Food & Wine

WTF Fun Fact 12642 – The Cereal Made for Orange Juice

May the 4 may be a day that lives in infamy. That’s the day fruit company Tropicana announced it will release a new cereal that you’re supposed to pour orange juice on top of instead of milk. It seems they do not realize that we could have done that all along and have just chosen not to for the most part.

Some people seem excited, while others are disgusted – so in that sense, it’s just like any other piece of random news.

According to the fruit company’s website for the cereal, you can buy your first box of Tropicana Crunch on May 4, 2022. The “Cereal Made for OJ.” (Not Simpson, we assume.)

We’re not sure how you “engineer a cereal” for citrus other than just suggesting it (which is really all it takes for most people), but the company seems oddly confident that the “unforgettable breakfast experience” is going to change breakfast forever.

And why May 4th, you ask? That’s National Orange Juice Day.

We’ll admit that the crunchy honey almond-flavored cereal doesn’t sound bad in itself, but we’ll just let you find out for yourselves how it tastes. – WTF fun facts


WTF Fun Fact – Franken Berry Stool

WTF Fun Fact - Franken Berry Stool

In 1971, General Mills released the Franken Berry cereal dyed with red No. 2 and No. 3, which can’t be broken down or absorbed by the human body. The dye caused pink stools which alarmed some parents who mistook it for blood. The phenomenon later became known as “Franken Berry Stool.” – WTF Fun Facts

Source: Franken Berry, the Beloved Halloween Cereal, Was Once Medically Found to Cause Pink Poop | Arts & Culture | Smithsonian Magazine

WTF Fun Fact – Pink Panther Flakes

WTF Fun Fact - Pink Panther Flakes

Post Cereal co-sponsored The Pink Panther television show in 1972 and as a tie-in created Pink Panther Flakes with pink frosted flakes which turned the milk pink. – WTF Fun Facts