lol

WTF Fun Fact 12554 – The 3500-Year-Old Mom Joke

by

Ancient Babylonians, they’re just like us! Ok, maybe not exactly, but it turns out they liked a good joke and even managed to record some on clay tablets. In 1976, archaeologist J.J. van Dijk found one such tablet in Iraq, and it contained a significant discovery – the first recorded “yo mama” joke.

Judging by the handwriting, van Dijk believes it was a student’s writing (which makes sense – but imagine having to sneak a clay tablet behind your back to pass notes in class!). The student inscribed 6 “riddles” on the tablet, though pieces were broken off.

Sadly, the jokes aren’t funny today, but it’s not surprising that you lose a little something in translation over 3500 years. What we do find amusing is that the 6th joke is a lewd joke about moms.

The rest don’t make much sense. For example:

In your mouth and your teeth, constantly stared at you, the measuring vessel of your lord. What is it? Beer.

See? Not funny. And neither is this one, although it gives us some indication that people have always enjoyed insulting politicians as well:

He gouged out the eye. It is not the fate of a dead man. He cut the throat: A dead man. Who is it?
A governor.

Now, the moment you’ve been waiting for, the actual “joke” (or at least the part that’s left):

…of your mother is by the one who has intercourse with her.
What/who is it?

Sadly, there’s no punchline left on the tablet. But instead of being disappointed, we’re just amused that insulting mothers has been the go-to insult for so very long. Apparently, it’s something we’re all very sensitive about. –WTF fun fact

Source: “3,500-Year-Old Jokes Have Something to Say About Yo Mama” — Discover Magazine

WTF Fun Fact 12548 – The Biltmore McDonald’s

by

The Vanderbilt family became the wealthiest people in America in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. But by the third generation, they were doing more spending than saving (or working), and their fortunes soon vanished. One of their weaknesses came in the form of building wildly expensive real estate, including the Biltmore Estate.

The Biltmore is a French Renaissance-style chateau and the largest private home in America. George Vanderbilt commissioned it after he visited Asheville, North Carolina in 1888 and fell in love with the Blue Ridge Mountains. Construction began in 1889 and hosted Vanderbilt’s first guests on Christmas Eve, 1895.

Biltmore spans a stunning 175,000 square feet and was designed by architect Richard Morris Hunt. It has The 250-rooms, including 35 bedrooms, 43 bathrooms, and 65 fireplaces. Across the way, you’ll find 75 acres of gardens designed by the famous landscape architect Frederick Law Olmsted.

And just down the street, you can get a Big Mac.

That’s right. The Biltmore is now a bit of a tourist trap, and what was once a village housing the staff is now basically a strip mall for anyone who is less-than-impressed by the glamorous home itself (or, you know, can’t go a day without fast food).

When McDonald’s bought the space, the Biltmore Village Historic Resources Commission was less than pleased to see something so unglamorous taint the home and its surroundings. But what can you do?

Well, for starters, you can pretty much force McDonald’s to renovate their McBuildings into something more fitting of the atmosphere. After it was built in 2000, it was almost immediately renovated to become…a fancy McDonald’s.

According to Atlas Obscura,

“The Biltmore McDonald’s octagonal dining room features tables of red oak, wrought iron railings, and luminous chandeliers under a sweeping pressed-tin ceiling, with every wood feature boasting a handsome finish. A baby grand player piano sits in the corner, churning out disembodied tunes you might hear at a fanciful gala, while a gold-leaf mantled fireplace forms the base of a giant stone chimney. And while the food is sourced and prepared as it would be at any McDonald’s, the staff who makes it maintain a strict dress code of slacks and a bow-tie. It’s fast-food meets forced-fanciful.”

So if you like to slurp your milkshake in style, now you know where to go. –  WTF fun fact

Source: “Biltmore McDonald’s” — Atlas Obscura

WTF Fun Fact 12547 – Caligula’s Equine Obsession

by

There’s not a lot of love in the history books for the madman/Roman emperor Caligula. Much of what we know about him comes from ancient historians Suetonius and Cassius Dio, who weren’t big fans.

If you look up Caligula’s horse Incitatus (and he does have his own Wikipedia page!), you’ll see stories about how the emperor decided he had so little respect for the Roman Senate that he installed the horse as a senator and even made him consul. (A Roman consul is a senator elected to the executive office for a 1-year term.)

And while that may have been one of Caligula’s half-baked plans, he was assassinated before it became a reality.

Not everyone believes this was a real plan, however. Some historians think it was simply the result of a one-off remark the emperor made about his senators being “asses.” But one thing is likely, and that’s Caligula’s love for his horse. It’s possible that he even held parties in Incitatus’ grand stable where the horse served as “host.”

Interestingly, Caligula’s horse comes up in the “Rights of Great Britain Asserted against the Claims of America,” the British response to the American Declaration of Independence. Believing the ancient historians’ accounts that the horse did become consul, the author uses it as an example of what happens when a state goes rogue:

The extension of the right of electing Magistrates to the people at large, was the principal cause of the fall of freedom in Old Rome. The prejudices and fears of the rabble were the steps by which ambitious men ascended to a power, which they converted into tyranny over their foolish Constituents…the grandsons of voters who placed Marius, Cinna, and Caesar at the head of the State, were employed by Caligula in raising his horse to the Consulship.

True or not, the story of Caligula’s horse serves as a pretty striking talking point, especially for anyone who wants to call a politician an “ass.”

–  WTF fun fact

Source: “Mythbusting Ancient Rome – Caligula’s Horse” — The Conversation

WTF Fun Fact 12456 – Napoleon’s Bunny Battle

by

There are so many stories about Napoleon out there that it’s hard to tell which ones are true at this point. They’re like Einstein quotes – half of them are just made up!

But this was has a few different sources, and it’s too funny not to share since it is, technically, part of the historical record of the famous French emperor.

As the most trustworthy version of the story goes, in July 1807, France and Russia ended the war between their empires by signing the Treaties of Tilsit. That’s enough to put anyone in a celebratory mood, especially since it drew the countries into an alliance at the time that would render the rest of Europe largely at their mercy.

Looking for a way to keep the good times rolling for a few more days, Napolean invited the military higher-ups still present to a rabbit hunt (which is the kind of thing rulers did for fun back in those days). Napolean’s only mistake was entrusting the collection of the rabbits to his chief of staff, Alexandre Berthier.

No one knows quite how many rabbits Berthier collected (hundreds or up to 3000, by some accounts), but it was a lot. And if you know anything about rabbits, they’re a bit hard to catch in such enormous numbers in a short period of time. So Berthier’s men brought in cages and cages full of domesticated rabbits.

Now, this is already a mistake because domesticated rabbits will not take off running – when they see humans, they assume they are being fed. But when the boss tells you to bring him a bunch of rabbits, you have to find some way to make him happy, even if that means rounding up bunnies from local farmers.

The afternoon unfolded in much the way you might assume. As the cages were opened, the rabbits didn’t scurry away. In fact, they scurried towards Napoleon. Who knows, maybe he had a lot of lettuce in his teeth after lunch. Or, more likely, they hadn’t been fed in a while.

Whatever attracted the rabbits to the emperor must have been something special because hundreds of bunnies were said to have swarmed him relentlessly. I mean, you have to laugh, right?

Napoleon did laugh at first, or at least he took it in stride, probably thinking that a few shots fired in the air would set things straight. But that didn’t work either, and it is reported that more and more bunnies thought “swarm the emperor” was a fun new game they were all playing.

Things got trickier as the mass of bunnies started climbing his legs and up his jacket. The guy was genuinely at a loss, especially when trying to shoo them away with his riding crop didn’t work. His coachman cracked his whip, hoping the noise would scare them away, but no luck.

So what’s a man to do when nature shows him who’s boss? In this case, hop in the carriage and try to get the heck out of there.

Lucas Reilly, writing for the website Mental Floss, found a great quote from historian David Chandler, who described the next stage of the bunny attack:

“…with a finer understanding of Napoleonic strategy than most of his generals, the rabbit horde divided into two wings and poured around the flanks of the party and headed for the imperial coach.”

In the end, Napoleon retreated, fleeing to his carriage. It was no defeat at Waterloo, but it was probably just as unexpected. –WTF fun fact

Source: “The Time Napoleon Was Attacked by Rabbits” — Mental Floss

WTF Fun Fact 12452 – The 11 Fingers of Mel Brooks

by

Mel Brooks – what a gas! The comedian and director of Young Frankenstein decided to celebrate his memorialization at Hollywood’s Chinese Theatre by giving fans the finger. The 11th finger, that is.

It was back in 2014, but it’ll be with us (in cement, at least) forever.

It’s true; Mel Brooks had 11 fingers when he pressed his hands in the cement at the ceremony to celebrate the 40th anniversary of his film Young Frankenstein. But one was a prosthetic.

A mere 88 years young at the time, Brooks explained his shenanigans later that same day on Conan O’Brien’s Late Show:

“I wanted to do something just a little different, I didn’t know what,” he told O’Brien. “So I got another finger.”

At the time of the ceremony, he joked around with his son: “About time, huh,”Max Brooksreportedly said. “Comedians never get their fair share of recognition in Hollywood…”

At the time, Mel Brooks gave a heartfelt thanks to his fans, saying: “I want to thank you all for being here and being part of the wonderful charade. I really love it.”

The charade involved an extra finger, but it seems it was one of the polite ones.

Now age 95, we’re just happy Mel is around to keep us laughing. –WTF fun facts

Source: “Mel Brooks brings extra finger to Hollywood handprint ceremony” — CBS News

WTF Fun Fact 12451 – The Bishop of the Moon

by

Archbishop William D. Borders was the founding bishop of the Diocese of Orlando, established in 1968. It covered 13 counties and nearly 10,000 square miles of central Florida. And possibly the moon.

Now, the Catholic Church has made no claim at all to the moon, but Borders’ territory happened to include Brevard, Florida, home to Cape Canaveral and the Kennedy Space Center. If that sounds familiar, it’s because that is where the U.S. launches its space missions.

At the time of the moon landing in July of 1969, many religious leaders praised the space program, seeing it as proof that God’s creation was neverending.

But for Borders, the moon landing was a little more personal. According to the 1917 Code of Canon Law (aka The Pio-Benedictine Code), which was in effect until 1983, any newly discovered territory was to be placed under the jurisdiction of the diocese from which the expedition that discovered that territory originated.

In other words, since the Apollo 11 mission launched from Cape Canaveral and that was in Borders’ territory, it was technically under his jurisdiction. A couple of other bishops joked that they might have dibs, but it was all in good fun.

In fact, to keep the joke going, Bishop Borders mentioned this to Pope Paul VI on a visit to the Vatican in late 1969. The pope had watched the moon landing with great interest (the Vatican has one of the best observatories in the world), but we’re not quite sure what he thought of the claim.

The story of their meeting comes to us via Renae Bennett, Orlando’s diocesan archivist, who wrote:

“During his visit, Bishop Borders mentioned to the pope that he was the ‘bishop of the moon.’ Responding to the pontiff’s perplexed reaction, Bishop Borders explained that according to the 1917 Code of Canon Law (in effect at that time), any newly discovered territory was placed under the jurisdiction of the diocese from which the expedition that discovered that territory originated. Since Cape Canaveral, launching site for the Apollo moon missions, was in Brevard County and part of the Diocese of Orlando, then in addition to being bishop of 13 counties, he was also bishop of the moon,” Bennett wrote. That would add more than 14.6 million square miles to the Diocese of Orlando, making that diocese the largest in the known universe.”

Of course, it all means very little, but that’s what makes it a fun fact.

Another fun fact: This would all make the current Bishop of Orlando, John G. Noonan, not only bishop of the moon but also of the International Space Station, which launched from Kennedy Space Center. – WTF fun facts

Source: “A Catholic bishop of the moon?” — The Catholic Weekly

WTF Fun Fact 12448 – Killer Vending Machines

by

In the United States, your chances of dying from a shark attack are roughly1 in 250 million, statistically speaking. In contrast, your risk of dying from a vending machine-related incident is approximately1 in 112 million. So a vending machine is nearly twice as lethal as a shark.

No, it’s not because the snacks you find in vending machines are high-calorie pseudo-food. We mean vending machines themselves can kill. Of course, your chance of encountering either may have gone down during the pandemic, but statistically speaking, you’re more likely to be killed by a vending machine than a great, big, toothy, man-eating shark.

Shark attacks make the news. Sharks seem dangerous. We’re afraid of sharks. They’ve made movies about how scary sharks are. They had to dedicate a whole week to sharks to show off both their deadliness and majesty. You just can’t say the same thing about vending machines. So sharks live in our imagination as something deadly.

Vending machines, on the other hand, are our friends. If the machines take over, we want them to be the ones that dispense snacks, right?

Ok, this isn’t really about ways you’re likely to die. But think about it – don’t we engage in this reasoning quite a lot? We love it. We throw it around all the time. “I can do X because Y is more dangerous.” That’s actually some deeply faulted reasoning since it ignored just HOW deadly X is (which, in this case, is vending machines).

Vending machines aren’t deadly at all. But they sure sound that way when you compare them to sharks.

And sharks? They get our attention as something deadly, even though, statistically, they aren’t. Especially if you live in, say, Indiana.

Now, we’re not going to insult you by spelling out the obvious social implications here, but let’s just say that next time you want to throw around statistics to prove a point, you might want to make sure they’re helpful. –WTF fun facts

Source: “How Are Sharks Less Dangerous than Vending Machines? An Exercise in Conditional Risk” — Freakonomics

WTF Fun Fact 12447 – The Tongue of a Woodpecker

by

We never really thought about it up until now, but it makes sense that woodpeckers would have to have some kind of mechanism to protect their brains from getting tossed around in their skulls while they hammer away. But in 2010, a team of Chinese scientists figured it out – and it’s fascinating.

To be honest, we didn’t even realize woodpeckers have such long tongues. But doing all that pecking is a way to chip into beetle grub nests, and their long tongues allow them to get in there without having to bash a big old hole in the tree like the Kool-Aid Man.

A woodpecker’s head strikes with around 1,000 times the force of gravity, about ten times more than what would definitely kill a human.

Their sharp beaks help them out a lot, as do their strong neck muscles, but up until relatively recently, no one knew how their heads could absorb the shock of that motion.

–WTF fun facts

Source: “Why woodpeckers can hammer without getting headaches” — Birdwatching Daily

WTF Fun Fact 12446 – Lady Gaga’s Ghost

by

While we don’t quite know when or why “Ryan” the ghost chose Lady Gaga to haunt, it seems plausible that rumors of her purchase of machinery to detect him is true based on past interviews.

Apparently, Ryan followed Gaga around wherever she went, which she found pretty “annoying.” She tried contacting a medium to stage a séance and communicate with him, but apparently, that wasn’t enough.

Now, granted, if we were convinced we had a pestering ghost, we’d probably try to get rid of it too. But we don’t exactly have Lady Gaga’s funds, so we’d have to pass on the $50,000 state-of-the-art Electro Magnetic Field meter. We’re not sure if that got rid of Ryan, but sources also told celebrity news magazines that she would have a team of paranormal investigators on hand to assess each concert venue she was about to perform in.

Frankly, we’d like to know more about what they thought they found. How many ghosts hang out at Madison Square Garden, for example?

Lady Gaga is also rumored to believe that she’s is the reincarnated spirit of a dead aunt.
– WTF fun facts

Source: “Lady GaGa calls in the ghostbusters” — Glamour